Explaining Your Stoma To Friends? Why Not Try A Stoma Flash!

How do you explain what a stoma is to somebody who has no clue?

“The food I eat empties out into a bag” – not specific enough.

“I have a hole in my abdomen where the end of my intestines pop out” – maybe.

“I had a massive chunk of my digestive system removed so now have a pouch taped to my tummy to do the job for me” – possibly.

Explaining what a stoma is to someone who is unfamiliar with the concept can be a tricky task. I often forget that the idea of a stoma is completely alien to many people and therefore I skip past a lot of the most important details, leaving the person I’m talking to looking rather perplexed. Over time I’ve become a little better at explaining my stoma.

Here’s what I say...

I usually start with the reason why I had a stoma formed - a damaged large bowel due to Crohn’s disease. Then I’ll tell them what I had removed (my large bowel) and how much of it (the entire thing). At this point, I must remind myself that not everyone is familiar with the detailed structure of the digestive system. If they’ve never had problems with their gut, why would they be? I say that I’ve had the end of the remainder of my intestines fused to the surface of my abdomen and wear a stoma pouch to collect my waste.

Describing my pouch is pretty easy – it’s just a bag after all!

Even better – I’ll show them my stoma!

If I’m close to the person, I’ll even show them. I’m more than happy to flash my friends. (Just to clarify, I mean a flash of my stoma, not any other type. I’m not a complete weirdo).

When it comes to reactions, I’ve seen them all. Some will respond with genuine interest, plenty of questions and a desire to learn more. Others won’t know how to react so will say nothing at all. Then there are those who will respond with pure shock. When this happens, I just tell myself that it’s nothing personal and remind myself that my stoma and I are perfectly happy!

How do you explain your stoma to others?

If you have any tips for me that you’ve learnt from your experience, I’d love to hear them!

Forever flashing,