Explaining Your Stoma To Friends? Why Not Try A Stoma Flash!

How do you explain what a stoma is to somebody who has no clue?

“The food I eat empties out into a bag” – not specific enough.

“I have a hole in my abdomen where the end of my intestines pop out” – maybe.

“I had a massive chunk of my digestive system removed so now have a pouch taped to my tummy to do the job for me” – possibly.

Explaining what a stoma is to someone who is unfamiliar with the concept can be a tricky task. I often forget that the idea of a stoma is completely alien to many people and therefore I skip past a lot of the most important details, leaving the person I’m talking to looking rather perplexed. Over time I’ve become a little better at explaining my stoma.

Here’s what I say...

I usually start with the reason why I had a stoma formed - a damaged large bowel due to Crohn’s disease. Then I’ll tell them what I had removed (my large bowel) and how much of it (the entire thing). At this point, I must remind myself that not everyone is familiar with the detailed structure of the digestive system. If they’ve never had problems with their gut, why would they be? I say that I’ve had the end of the remainder of my intestines fused to the surface of my abdomen and wear a stoma pouch to collect my waste.

Describing my pouch is pretty easy – it’s just a bag after all!

Even better – I’ll show them my stoma!

If I’m close to the person, I’ll even show them. I’m more than happy to flash my friends. (Just to clarify, I mean a flash of my stoma, not any other type. I’m not a complete weirdo).

When it comes to reactions, I’ve seen them all. Some will respond with genuine interest, plenty of questions and a desire to learn more. Others won’t know how to react so will say nothing at all. Then there are those who will respond with pure shock. When this happens, I just tell myself that it’s nothing personal and remind myself that my stoma and I are perfectly happy!