Barbie Butts - What to expect

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“Barbie Butt, Ken Butt, No Butt or the official term – Proctocolectomy. Whatever you want to call it – I don’t have a butt hole. And you know what… I am okay with that!”

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Hey everyone!

In this blog I wanted to talk about having a ‘Barbie Butt’ and certain things you should know about the operation and life going forward.

First off, having a proctocolectomy was probably one of the best decisions for me. I was given the option in the beginning to potentially have my ileostomy reversed. The hospital gave me 5 years between my first operation and making the final decision of either getting reconnected or having a proctocolectomy. I was too ill for them to complete the whole surgery back when I was rushed into hospital with only 2 hours left to live!

During the 5 years, I did get a little bit frustrated, I was already majorly depressed and battled some very nasty thoughts. I struggled with the thought of having the ‘choice’ – what if I made the wrong choice? What if I should get reconnected? What if I should have everything taken out? It was a tough time and if anyone else is having to make this decision – I totally understand the thoughts you are having and remember, if you’re given options, choose what is best for YOU!

For me, after lots and lots of research and talking to people online, I made the choice to have my anal stump removed. It was not a decision I took lightly but the moment I had it done, I felt 100 times better in myself! It finally got rid of all the Ulcerative Colitis and I noticed the difference in myself almost immediately after. I felt better than I had done in the past 5 years.

Recovery was probably the hardest part of this operation – not through pain, just awkwardness. I couldn’t sit down directly on my bum for 6 weeks! I had to stand up to eat and if I wanted to sit down, I had to lay down.

The painful part was having the stitches removed, but by that point you don’t think about it being a ‘bum’ anymore, you just get on with it.

In terms of looks, you wouldn’t know I don’t have a bum hole… It’s not often you get that area out for the world to see!! You still have bum cheeks, it’s not completely sewn up, it’s just the hole area. The scar itself looks like a bum hole, so if showing it off is your thing – unless someone was right up close, they would never know. (I’m not going to judge what you do in your private time!)

To be honest, not having a bum is pretty amazing. After years of having a stoma as well as having to go to the toilet daily to let out mucus – I was ready for one or the other to be gone!

One of my big worries was that I wouldn’t be able to squat or do workouts, but everything is the same as before. I can do everything and don’t even have to think about it, as I don’t experience any pain down there.

Occasionally, I may notice a little tear in the scar where I may bleed a little, but this is very few and far between and only if I have either been working out a lot or I’m really run down.

The only thing I would say is that it might affect those that enjoy anal sex. For example, it might take away a part of a sexual experience for a gay man but it’s something you can discuss with the surgeons, friends and/or family before your surgery goes ahead. For me personally, I was more interested in being well and I think you can figure all that stuff out down the line when you’re feeling up to it. I’ve had healthy relationships after having my surgery and it’s never been an issue. While I am single now, it’s not something I fear having to tell people anymore that I may have a sexual relationship with in future!

As you can tell, I am at a point in my life where there are no boundaries when it comes to dealing with Ulcerative Colitis, Ileostomies and Proctocolectomies. It’s part of my story and part of my journey and if I can answer questions that people struggle to get the information for – then I am doing my job!

I really hope this blog gives a bit of an insight to living with a ‘Barbie Butt’! If you have any questions, you can always find me on my Instagram (@thatsnathan) and send me a message.

Stay happy!

Nathan x

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by Nathan Wheeler

Nathan Wheeler

About the author

Hello - I'm Nathan Wheeler! I'm a YouTuber and I've had an ileostomy since 2007 when I was just 17, so I have a pretty good idea about how to deal with the struggles of a stoma! I want to share my experiences with you and bring a light-hearted approach to all the questions that no one wants to ask! You can follow me an Instagram and YouTube.

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