Pride, Pouches & Positivity

Ah, June. The month of sunshine (hopefully), glitter, rainbows, and… awareness! Yep, in a perfect twist of fate, Pride Month and Men’s Health Week overlap, and I can’t think of a better time to talk about something that doesn’t always get centre stage: mental health, especially when you’re a guy, part of the LGBTQ+ community, and living with a stoma. Triple whammy!

So, let’s get into it - no filter, a bit of fun, and plenty of real talk.

My Story Begins

Let’s rewind with a little bit of my story to set the scene, shall we? I was 17 when my insides decided they didn’t want to behave anymore. After a rapid decline thanks to ulcerative colitis, I found myself having emergency surgery. Fast forward a little and boom: ileostomy life. That was 17 years ago now, and what a journey it's been!

From the initial shock (and, let’s be honest, trauma) of waking up with a bag, to becoming someone who proudly gets their pouch out on magazine covers and campaigns… it’s been wild. But it wasn’t all Insta-worthy poses and self-love epiphanies. Oh no. There were years of overthinking, hiding my body, and that constant inner voice whispering, “You’re not enough.”

The Man in the Mirror

Men’s Health Week is often painted with a predictable brush: gym bros, protein shakes, and the importance of testicular checks (which, to be fair, are important). But as someone who doesn’t fit the cookie-cutter mould, I’ve learned that real men’s health goes beyond biceps and six packs.

It includes the mental load we carry, especially when our bodies don’t look like the “after” picture in an ad. For me, having a stoma made me feel less “manly” at times. Society tells us men should be strong, stoic, six-packed superheroes - and yet, here I was with a bag on my belly, scars, and fatigue!

I certainly didn’t see that representation in the magazines, eh?

Taking Pride

Now on to Pride, at its heart, is about visibility and acceptance, not just from others, but from yourself too. As a gay man with a stoma, I’ve had to do some serious inner work to embrace every inch of me, bag and all. It’s not just for yourself, but people around you. You learn to navigate awkward conversations, tackle misconceptions, and sometimes deal with people who just don’t get it.

But when I started to show up unapologetically, when I posted that first topless photo with my bag out, when I spoke honestly about my mental health - that’s when things began to shift. Not just in how others saw me, but how I saw myself. That’s the true power of Pride.

Bags and Body Image

Let’s get real - body image issues don’t discriminate. They affect all genders, but men often suffer in silence. We’re conditioned to act like we don’t care, to “man up,” to laugh it off. But I did care. I still do and some days are harder than others!

Having a stoma only amplified that. I used to constantly compare myself to other guys: the ones with abs and no visible medical history. I felt like I was always playing catch-up, trying to prove I was “normal” enough to be desirable, valid, or sexy.

But comparison is a joy-thief. And I had to learn that my body, with its little addition of a bag, is still worthy. Still strong. Still mine.

People often see the physical aspects of having a stoma, but not the mental toll. The anxiety. The body dysmorphia. The fatigue. The fear that one leak or loud bag gurgle will ruin your night out.

For years, I have struggled with overthinking, feeling like my body betrayed me. Add in the societal pressure of being a man who should just “get on with it,” and the internalised shame that sometimes creeps into the LGBTQ+ experience, and it was a cocktail for burnout.

That’s why I shout so loudly about mental health now. Therapy helped. Medication helped. Talking really helped. And above all, knowing I wasn’t alone helped the most. It took a while to meet ‘my people’ and you’ll come across people that you think are right for you – but just keep you down. It’s all part of the journey of life and learning as we go!

Mental Health Help

So how do we protect our mental health when we’re juggling Pride, body image, chronic illness, and all the emotional baggage that comes with being a human?

Here are a few things that helped me:

• Community matters. Find your people. Online, offline, wherever. Whether it’s fellow ostomates, LGBTQ+ mates, or just that one friend who “gets it,” connection is a game-changer.
• Move your body (but not for punishment). I used to obsess over exercise as a way to “fix” myself. Now I do it because it helps my mind. Morning Peloton sessions, yoga, even a walk. Movement is my medicine, and I feel worse when I don’t move! If you want to get moving but don’t know where to start you can download free exercise guides from CliniMed.
• Be kind to your reflection. Some days you’ll love the mirror. Some days, not so much. But every day, you deserve compassion. Speak to yourself the way you’d speak to a friend.
• Unfollow the noise. If someone on social media makes you feel like you’re not enough, hit that unfollow button. Curate a feed that uplifts, educates, and empowers. Same goes for in person. It took a while for me to get out of a toxic friendship – but it’s the best decision I’ve ever made.
• Talk. Then talk some more. Mental health thrives in safe, open spaces. Whether it’s with a therapist, a friend, or even writing it down. Don’t bottle it up.

Here are some final words from your own personal stoma cheerleader. A proud gay man in the most amazing long-term relationship, with a stoma, talking about mental health and men’s health during Pride Month. If you’d told 17-year-old me I’d be writing this one day, confidently, publicly, with zero shame… I’d have laughed in your face.

But here’s the truth: our differences make us powerful. Our scars tell stories. And whether your stoma is new, old, temporary, or permanent - you’re allowed to live fully, proudly, and joyfully.

Take care of your mind. Celebrate your body. Own your truth.

Happy Pride and Happy Men’s Health Week, from me, my stoma, and a whole lot of love.

Until next time!

Nathan x