When it comes to any form of sexual intimacy it is paramount that you feel completely comfortable, relaxed and happy with the situation. Naturally, the addition of a catheter in these situations can make it a bit scary. When it comes to intimacy it can take time to feel ready to take that first step and there is no right or wrong, it’s down to how you feel personally.
My suprapubic catheter (SPC) had been in place for around 18 months before I took that first step. I know at the time, I felt that I was in the perfect mindset and I was ready. Looking back at that moment, I wanted to feel worthy and accepted. I don’t regret the decision that I made as I felt happy and that’s what I wanted at the time, but I do wish I had waited to have that moment. This person made me feel comfortable and made no comments about my catheter, I just didn’t know the person as much as I would have wanted.
Early summer of 2023 I started dating someone new and this was the first person I had dated since I had my SPC fitted. I got to know this person on a deeper level and we had a connection without any sex attached. We had many conversations about my health, this included my catheter and why I have to live with one. From the beginning there were zero judgements and I knew that I could disclose intimate details about myself and my health.
This time round I really knew that I was ready but I also noticed how different this situation felt. As expected, I was a little anxious about my catheter getting in the way or coming out of my securement device and touching my partner, as well as many other situations running wild in my head. Since that first time nearly all of the situations I had been anxious about, have definitely happened! None of these were an issue and 9 out of 10 times it wasn’t a big deal. This person has made my whole experience amazing and it’s made me feel closer to them.
Having a catheter or any other medical device doesn’t make you any less of a human and it doesn’t define who you are. There are people in this world that are shallow, judgemental and all round ignorant, but there will always be these types of people regardless. When you are ready to take that step with someone, you will know when you have found your person. I will always have deep feelings for ‘my person’ as they were the first to make my sexual experience with a catheter amazing.
There is a community of catheter users on social media many who, like me, openly share their experiences online. I can only speak for myself (but I’m sure others feel the same too) in saying that you can private message me on Instagram or TikTok if you need advice and/or support, from a person in the same situation as you.
Just always remember, you are worthy of love and happiness, with or without your catheter.
Tayla x