Black Tie Stoma Bag

by Jay Hyrons

Black Tie Stoma Bag

My first black tie event with a stoma

Since acquiring my colostomy, there have been some adjustments to make along the way. Usually when I go anywhere I am now armed with an arsenal of supplies 'just in case'. My 'Tony' (the name I gave to my stoma) has a mind of his own and feels no shame about where and when he decides to work!

Last month, I was invited to a charity boxing match - my first black tie event since having my stoma. It was a match between The Parachute Regiment & the Household Division of the Guards. I was quite excited as I had not seen my husband’s old regiment in action since the 70’s, back when we lived in Berlin.

Panic mode set it

A couple of days before the event, I went into panic mode. What should I wear? I had forgotten that my wardrobe had undergone a major clear out! I’m still not completely comfortable with shopping post-stoma (actually, the truth is that I’ve always hated shopping anyway), so what would I do with the event coming up fast?

There was a little black number that I hadn’t been able to get into for years. I looked at it. It was very fitted. Would I squeeze into it? Would my stoma bag show? Only one way to find out, so I tried it on......it fitted perfectly and my Aura Flushable pouch was as discreet as ever! For the first time since my surgery I felt I could be really glamorous.

It was an amazing night, despite the leak

So, hair and make-up done, I trotted off to Wellington Barracks and the champagne reception. It was an amazing night and I was totally caught up in the ambience when, of course, 'Tony' decides to cause a leak. The funniest bit was a very nice lady asking me if I could manage the stairs (because I’d asked for a disabled loo)! Of course, there’s no disabled loo at an army barracks but I managed with the changing rooms that they had and was back at our table in no time, with a skip and a hop (but maybe no jump)!

I’ve come such a long way since I first lay in Intensive Care with more tubes than I thought possible to put into one body! Each new adventure really is a milestone.

About the author

Broken Bodybuilder. 57, recovering from two near death experiences in 13 months! Have Fibromyalgia,PTSD, Spinal Problems, asthma, colostomy & more!

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